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katiexoxojonathan
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Name: Katie
Birthday: 11/29/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: MY LOVE Christopher Buckley, Trying to be involved in school, HOLIDAYS and MUSIC!!!!
Expertise: Talking loudly!! (LOL)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
8/25/2004
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| Amaizingly this aint about jonathan well kinda. Okay heres the deal!!!! Yea. . . on friday I was with jonathan blah blah blah i asked him to meet me in the halls in the morning just like the thursday and wensday before that. (i was thinking. . .) and realized that i'm jealous of gabby. Ever since i hooked her up with robert it's been robert this and robert that. . . i mean in the beginning it was no problem but then we started to grow apart me being in yearbook (and becomming more involved with the school) well the little time that we did ever get to see eacother it was " ohhh yea me and robert are really getting serious and his family loves me. blah blah blah he got me this awesome ring and gave me his old jacket." i started to feel really i donno jealous i was thinking of when i was in that so called relationship with jonathan I remembered how his mom and brother hated me and how it was gone and stuff like that... maybe it was the whole gabby telling me how great a boyfriend robert is and when i was with him we couldn't even kiss because of my parents and the distance but mostly because of our parents . . . since gabby can find ways to work around the long distance to be with robert i can too!! well i mean i could i mean could have/of, but i was really being thoughtfull when i hooked my best friend up with robert because i wanted her to be happy, i knew robert was a great guy and that she'd have a better chance with him. Then i would always see her so happy everytime she talked about being in his arms i couldn't help but be happy for her. (it was the best feeling ever). We started spending less time with eachother because after yearbook i joined the school play. ( i thought well alot of the times i want to hang out with gabby she's with robert, she needs her space anyways) I thought about some of the other things gabby said about her and robert and started to miss jonathan that much more. I wanted to be in someones arms again and i wanted to be kissed again and be in someones embrace and who better than my ex? i knew me and jonathan were growing apart too but i din't want to rush it. I was really becomming sick of my friends complaining about how damn ugly jonathan is well robert. . . nvm. . . it's not the looks it's the person. well anyways friday i was hanging out with jonathan in the morning and yes okay we were kissing and stuff. . . you fill in the blanks (your going to anyways) well then gabby, ashlen, and chanel came behind the corner and fucked everything up. . . i wanted to be with jonathan ALONE!!!! I wanted to be with him and forget about my life. . . (how me and gabby were growing apart just like jonathan and I and how my grandma is becomming sicker and all the changes that was going on in my life)!!!!!! To be honest eveytime i saw gabby it was a pain because i didn't want to admit to myself that i didn't know the next time i would actually get to hang out with her again (like when it used to be just me and her) spending a whole day or weekend together. Well i got mad because i felt like they invaded my privacy and i donno they caught me off guard and i became embarrassed. I mean don't get me wrong i feel guilty about knowing, showing that magnificent drawing of jennifer to me is all gabby wanted to do, but i really wanted to still spend time ALONE with jonathan. Not only that but i mean gabby could have showed well came to find me on her own. Hell knows y ashlen even went with her because she's got HER BEST FRIEND KATHERINE and chanel. . . . dsifuwtro8tfwei;fgewigflew7gf uuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well anyways. I know that gabby came early and her first intention was to surprise me and spend time with me and i fucked that up but UNINTENTIONALLY. I just don't want to apologize because i tried before and i did know why she was mad at me but it seems that everythings always my fault like im always apologizing for something this time maybe I should just leave it because if i say sorry now i'll just get tangled in time and end up having to say sorry again for another stupid mistake i make. So y bother, i fucked up AGAIN and gabby's glad to have me off her back. (i'm nothing but drama anyways). I don't blame her. . . seems she deleted me from her myspace. ( i guess that makes it all the more easier for her NOT to talk to me). The ending of this pointless story is after school on friday I hung out with jonathan again and we had sex again. :( I also thought that, that morning when gabby came to show me her drawing i thought another one of her intentions was to break me and jonathan up. Well i didn't know, she was with ashlen and chanel and it looked like. . . .well nvm anyways i got mad and thought fuck this i'm gonna get what i want and i'm not letting gabby, ashlen or chanel stop me. I also thought maybe if i turn easy jonathan would like it and ask me out again. Well that plan blew up in my face because yea me and jonathan well not really had sex but lets just call it played around and afterward he told me we should stop what we were doing because we wern't even together and he liked someone else!! Then i got mad and said that I didn't need him anyways that i had my friends that would ALWAYS be there for me UNLIKE him and that i didn't need his shoulder to cry on. I EVEN told him that i'm the only KATIE WHITSITT in this world and he won't ever be able to replace me!!!!!!!!!! Then he said we could still be friends and i started crying and said there would be no point. THEN he told me not too. RIGHT AFTER my dad called me on my cell and said he was in the parking lot waiting for me so i started to leave. Before i left jonathan gave me a hug that I wouldn't even call a hug because i didn't even make an effort to put my arms around him. I was so mad at myself for hurting myself like that and some of my BEST FRIENDS but because of my well. . . because of me i fucked 4 friendships up and feel 4 empty spaces that i can't wait to be filled back up. | | |
|  I remember everything. sometimes when i need to remember those things. . . i can't!! *tear* (wipes tear away) then when i'm doing nothing at all just waisting my time everything... all the memories jonathan gave to me completely consume me and i have to cry!!! i don't know if it's a happy cry or a sad cry because it hurts and at the same time it's the BEST feeling in the entire world to me!! knotts and summer 2004. the perfect days. everything........... everything. we still talk. . . mostly over the phone but we still talk. my friends really dislike him because he broke up with me. then when they find out how much i just want.............. well they usually tell me "i can't like someone who hurt you so bad." it's not his fault. it's mine!! if ....................this would have never happened if i didn't let it but i did. this is where i stand. you know what i hate. . . i hate it when he says "i'll never do it again!" that's all i want though for him to do "it" again. i don't want to remember but then at the same time i do i REALLY REALLY DO. i like to remember!! i like to smile and see what i saw a long time ago. . . the movies the walks the summer days. i had NO idea they were so blue until now. damn and i didn't even notice. what do i do? don't tell me to get over it BECAUSE I WON'T!! don't tell me not to cry because I'M GOING TO!! just let me stand in the midths of all the memories he left me with!!!
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WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:
» Family:
US!!
* Who are you?
*Are we friends?
* When and how did we meet?
*How have I affected you?
* What do you think of me?
*What's the fondest memory you have of me?
*How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
*Do you love me?
*Have I ever hurt you?
*Would you hug me?
*Are we close?
*On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
*Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
*How long have you known me?
*Describe me in one word.
*What was your first impression?
*Do you still think that way about me now?
*What do you think my weakness is?
*Do you think I'll get married?
*What about me makes you happy?
*What about me makes you sad?
*What reminds you of me?
*What's something you would change about me?
*How well do you know me?
*Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
*Are you going to put this on your xanga and see what I say about you? | | |
|  ALRIGHT THIS MAY BE LONG. . .
I know noone wants to hear it and not one person in the world would ever want to read about it but i'm going to type about it because i'm thinking of it and I don't know!! We only had EVERYTHING!! I mean that's nothing right? Just eachother and happiness. It was nothing!! *sigh* only the best thing in the world!! ONLY what made OUR day. Not the perfect boy. Not the best looking not much but EVERYTHING TO ME!! Noone else saw in him what i continue to see in him EVERYDAY WHILE we pass eachother in the hallways at school!! You can't see the SPIRIT, the beauty, the heart the everything? Touching and holding hands, seducing eachother just by kissing lips and looking into eachothers eyes! *tear drops* The stupid things we would say to make eachother laugh, The warmth of our embrace, the invisiable spark that shocked me every time he held me or picked me up in his arms!! It's all about THIS PAST LOVE!!! It never died!! It won't die until both of us forgets and it's just something you don't forget. . . a first love, a first hickie, a first hump!! (lol) don't ask. ************ Gross, stupid, uncalled for you may think but to someone/some people it may be, wonderful, sweet, romantic. . . how we met. . . called eachother every day... broke rules just to get to eachother!!!!!!!! Gave eachother a reason to wake the next day!!! I would give ANYTHING to go back!! Sometimes words don't mean enough to get you what you want. Even the heartbreaking truth that you spill out with your soul just to tell the one person that doesn't believe in 2nd chances that you want to START OVER!!! | | |
|  *almost Like*
It's almost like i've gone blind to all around me except you, like i don't want to move on because i'm hooked on you. i've buried my common sense in the dangers of begging you to come back to me. crying in my sleep for your stubburn heart so deep. lying next to my phone waiting for it to ring. looking into the darkness with only this hurtfull sting. Believing you still care about me, when you pretend not to see. Are you suffering too? why not say what you want to do? Tell yourself you made the mistake. Give me a break. It's been over a year now and i still want you back. The burning lie, your touch, you that ever since that day I lack!!!! | | |
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